Mother’s Day always conjures up bittersweet memories for me. It has been almost 12 years since my mother died and Mother’s Day reminds me how much I miss her.

My Mom was almost 41 years old when I was born. We were very close. Less than a year before her death she was the matron of honor in my wedding. 

She was always healthy and I guess I thought she would live forever. That is until the day Ireceived the call. A series of medical tests detected lymphoma and Mom was scheduled for surgery. They found a very advanced case of the disease.

The doctor said we should talk with hospice. Of course, that’s not what we wanted to hear, but when the hospice nurse arrived at our home, everything changed.

I was very concerned because Mom seemed to be in pain. When I expressed my fears to the nurse, her response was, “Let me get to work. Your Mom does not have to be in pain.” I don’t think I have ever heard more comforting words.

My Mom lived a few weeks. A couple of days before she died I was tucking in the blanket around her and she looked directly at me and said, “I love you.” As far as I know, those were the last words she ever spoke.  Hospice made my Mother’s last weeks comfortable and allowed me to have some special time with her. I want all families to have this experience with their loved ones. It is a hard time, but Hospice makes the journey much easier.

This Mother’s Day I’m making a $25 donation to Hospice to make sure end-of-life care is available to all mothers when it is needed. Will you join me?

Please click here to make a secure donation.

On behalf of Hospice families, staff and volunteers, please accept my sincere appreciation for all your support.

Best Regards,

Kim Livesay
Director of Annual Giving and Public Relations
Hospice of the Bluegrass

Listen as volunteer Steve Kinkel discusses his experience as a hospice volunteer. (Download)

Watch Hospice of the Bluegrass President and CEO Gretchen Brown shares a special message with volunteers.

Read volunteers’ Sylvia Boggs and Laura Nordan write about their volunteer experiences.

We have a special section on our website for our Hospice Heroes.

Volunteer Voices is the Hospice of the Bluegrass Newsletter by and for our volunteers.  Read the latest issue here.

Watch this video tribute to the work of hospice volunteers from NHPCO.

Sherri Weisenfluh, LCSW, ACHP-SW Associate Chief Clinical Officer, Counseling

March is designated by the National Association of Social Workers as social work month. This year’s theme is “Social Work Matters”. Social work’s primary mission is to enhance human well-being and help meet the basic needs of all people, especially the most vulnerable.

Social workers play a key role at hospice and palliative care. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services estimate over 7,000 social workers are employed by hospice agencies. Social workers follow a Code of Ethics and have a mandate to identify and address gaps in social systems that keep some people or groups from fully participating in society. Social workers have an ethical obligation to advocate for social work change that will benefit the most people.

Hospice of the Bluegrass has a staff of over 60 social workers and 10 social workers that provide grief counseling.  Social workers helped advocate for the Medicare Hospice Benefit, help families find resources and reach out to those in our communities with needs. Every day social workers help educate, advocate, and help support patients and their families with terminal illness. Our agency would be less successful without social worker contributions.

With the recent disasters in Kentucky it is important to note that Hospice of the Bluegrass has social workers that have completed the Red Cross mental health volunteer training. The day after the tornadoes struck our state, Joe Whalen, MSW in the Cynthiana office was contacted by the Red Cross to provide assistance to victims of the tornado in Morgan County. Joe reports visiting with families that lost their homes and the victims need for information on where and how to seek help. Hospice of the Bluegrass is proud of our social work staff and their continuing contribution made to our communities especially when disasters occur.

Sherri Weisenfluh, LCSW, ACHP-SW

Associate Chief Clinical Officer, Counseling

Wide Horizon Hospice

I did not know Rose. I had never met her, yet I attended her funeral this morning. All I know of Rose is that she was 25 years old and left three young children for her mother to care for. As is the Swazi tradition, she was laid to her final rest at sunup.

We arrived at her remote homestead in the predawn hours just as the men were moving her narrow wooden casket from her home and placing it in back of a pickup truck. We fell in line with the other mourners and followed on foot as the truck bounced along a rutted dirt road around the hillside to the primordial burial ground. The procession sang the now familiar strains of the African hymns, and though I did not understand the words, one could not mistake the sentiment of the plaintive refrains.

We walked in darkness until at last we reached our destination, a steep hillside littered with unmarked stone mounds, each one representing a perished soul. The men pulled Rose’s casket from the bed of the truck and by the light of a lantern held high made their way down the steep incline. They placed the coffin by the freshly dug grave.  I made my way to the bottom of the hill and looked up at the gathered mourners, now numbering nearly 100, their brown faces turned skyward and their voices continuing the ancient cadence, as the breaking dawn gave a muted light to the scene.

As Rose’s casket was lowered into the ground, the first true rays of the morning sun fell upon the hillside. Rose’s mother, sister, brothers and children took turns ceremoniously tossing a handful of dirt into the grave. The singing continued as the men from the community got to the real work of burying their dead.

After the last shovel of dirt was placed and the last stone was positioned, the preacher read from a worn Bible.  Then, a representative from the family addressed those gathered. He departed from his native tongue to acknowledge our presence. He said our coming brought the bereaved family honor and comfort.

From my stance at the bottom of the hill I could now plainly see the faces of the mourners in the morning sun.  I was taken by what I perceived as numbness on their countenances.  No tears, no sobs, just blank stares from those who have repeated this ritual far too many times.

And then it was over. They turned and left. I lingered for a moment. Now, in the full morning sun, I beheld the entire mountainside literally crowded with stone covered mounds. And now a new one.

I did not know Rose. I had never met her, yet I attended her funeral this morning.

Wide Horizon Hospice

John Johnson, director of the Lexington office of Hospice of the Bluegrass, traveled to Africa last year. While there, he paid a visit to Wide Horizon, HOB’s sister hospice in South Africa. This story describes an experience he had there.  In the past few years, HOB Employees have raised nearly $15,000 for Wide Horizon Hospice.  This funding helped pay for all new cabinetry, countertops, filing cabinets and storage lockers in the duty room, an updated kitchen and patient bathroom.

Donna Armstrong, MSW,CSW Daniels Care Pediatric Program Director

For many the idea of a sick child is scary and depressing thought.  Children are not supposed to be sick. The idea of hospice and palliative care for children brings up much conversation.  What do you do on visits?  Isn’t it sad?? How do you do it?

I love working with pediatric patients and families.  It is unpredictable and challenging. I have spent visits holding babies, doing crafts, helping with homework, having my hair fixed, watching reality TV (more than I care to admit), playing computer games, laughing and crying.  It has been an honor to walk with our patients and families.  I have learned so much about life and love that I couldn’t possibly put it all into one blog.  I have learned that it is the little moments that are precious and make the big memories. Now, that may seem like something one would read on a greeting card, but it is true.  It reminds me of one of our first Daniel’s Care patients.

I provided care to my first hospice pediatric patient* sixteen years ago. I quickly learned that visiting him and his family was not scary or depressing, but was a complete joy. He was a beautiful infant diagnosed with a fatal genetic condition.  He lived with his mother and father and two siblings.  His family knew that time spent with him was precious. The focus was on providing comfort, helping his young sisters understand his illness and helping the family create memories.

One visit stands out in my mind.  His mother had asked me to drive her and the baby to a doctor’s appointment.  She did not have transportation as the family had one car which her husband needed for work. She had called me the day before to discuss the time of appointment and then timidly asked me if we could stop and get his picture made. She said she had baby pictures with her two other children, but not one with him. She reported people might think it strange because he wasn’t supposed to live long and because he had a facial deformity. Of course I told her we could stop for pictures.

After the doctor’s appointment we stopped at a local photography studio. The young photographer was initially startled by the infant’s facial deformity, but quickly warmed up as his loving face beamed and mom told his story. Due to his very small size we had to be creative with positioning, but were able to get beautiful photographs. His mom was very grateful for this simple act of normalcy, a picture of her child and someone to share the experience with.  I still have my picture and it still brings me joy.  It’s the little moments that count.

Donna Armstrong, MSW,CSW
Daniels Care Pediatric Program Director

Daniel’s Care is specialized pediatric care provided by Hospice of the Bluegrass for Children and adolescents from birth to twenty-one who are coping with life-threatening illnesses and/or conditions.  The Daniel’s Care program served approximately 145 patients last year in both hospice and palliative care. Hospice of the Bluegrass has trained pediatric hospice staff in every office.  The Palliative Care staff consults on pediatric patients at Kentucky Children’s Hospital, sees patients at the Daniel’s Care Pediatric Palliative Care Clinic in Lexington and in their homes.

*The name and particular details have been modified to protect patient information.

Humphrey was a rescued, 6 yr old Boxer mix. It was a wonder the both of them fit in the chair, as Humphrey was a large dog; but Phillip made room, wanting to feel the warmth and gentle breathing of the dog next to him. Phillip sighed as he closed his eyes to nap, (Humphrey’s were already shut), saying that he “could happily go now” as he could “think of no better way, than next to a dog.” He had loved and rescued many of them, for most of his 78 years. Phillip had taken these same naps with one or more of my dogs, when visiting me. I would pray then, as I did at that time, that Phillip would be able “to go,” while he was so at peace and felt such comfort.

My experience with Phillip, along with reading an article about the positive benefits of animal-assisted therapy for Hospice patients was the catalyst for our interest in becoming volunteers for this organization. We’d been visiting schools, hospitals and nursing homes since 1997. My mother was a Hospice patient during the final year of her life.

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” Anatole France

The essence of this quotation beautifully illustrates what I’ve witnessed during my visits. Regardless of breed or size, when a patient realizes a dog is present, it’s as if an inner switch is flipped. They are often able to focus on the moment and will reach out to touch the warm fur, or caress the smooth, rounded head  . . . recalling fond memories of past pets they’ve loved. That simple, gentle touch can provide an avenue that allows both the patient and family members to direct their thoughts away from the worries they face and the pain that often threatens to overwhelm them. The warm, luminous eyes, can speak to a level of comfort and understanding for which we often struggle to find the words. Dogs don’t ask questions or judge. They don’t care how we look or that we are sick –  that can be a very powerful tool in getting a patient or family member to open up.

A dog’s degree of perception can be amazing.  There was Woogie, a Pit mix, born blind and deaf. Visiting an inpatient facility for youth with behavioral issues, he showed only a brief interest in the other dozen kids sitting on the floor. He targeted on a thin, quiet young boy, pushing himself onto his lap and licking his face. The boy seemed pleased and surprised at the attention. I remember telling him that “Woogie must see something in you that he likes.” We were later informed by the unit supervisor that the young man, who’d been admitted several weeks prior, had broken down after we left. He was finally able to talk to a counselor, tearfully remorseful, over his killing the family dog in a fit of anger.

Then there’s Beowulf, a very energetic American Bulldog. His demeanor changes, becoming calm and focused once he puts on his vest and harness; he knows he’s “working”; he realizes he’s there on the unit for a purpose. Grendel, an American Bulldog rescued from a life of abuse, is an 85 lb gentle giant, especially good with children. Toby, a 3-legged, 5 lb Min Pin, loves to cuddle and will curl up closely in “any willing lap.” Even if a patient or family member does not want physical contact, an animal can make a connection and an impression that defies logic. In a nursing home we’ve visited for 15 years, the residents remember the name of the dog, but often do not remember me!

Studies have long upheld the fact that animal-assisted therapy can offer immediate benefits that are both physical and physiological. That holds true not only for the patient and family, but for me as well. There is no better feeling than seeing the pain-dimmed eyes of a patient, light up – or the face of that family member, normally creased with worry and exhaustion, relax and smile, when they see the dog or feel the insistent push of a cold, wet nose against their hand. Perhaps for at least a brief time, that part of the soul is again awakened, proof that one is still alive and worthy of being loved – unconditionally.

Laura Nordan
Hospice of the Bluegrass Volunteer
Therapy certification: Pawsibilities Unleashed Pet Therapy of Kentucky, Inc. 501©3
Liz Norris, AKC Master Trainer/Founder – Therapy & Service Dog Training
www.pawsibilitiesunleashed.org

*The name and particular details have been modified to protect patient information.

Did you know that one out of every four dying Americans is a veteran?  It is likely that 642,000 veterans will die in 2012.  Forty percent of the 22.7 million living veterans are 65 and older and most are living with chronic health conditions.  It’s important that healthcare providers understand the extent to which military and combat experience can affect end-of-life treatment.

Through grants provided by the Department of Veteran Affairs (VA) and the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, Hospice of the Bluegrass (HOB) became a leader among community hospices, improving the quality of care provided to veterans and their families.  HOB’s goal is to increase the use of palliative and hospice care services.

To better serve veterans and their families, Hospice of the Bluegrass has:

• Added a military history checklist to their medical record;
• Created a veterans  program for employee and volunteer orientation;
• Developed  education topics such as: needs of veterans at end-of-life, VA benefits, eligibility and enrollment, health risks associated with various combat theaters and practical tips for working with veterans and their families;
• Honored veterans and their families with appreciation cards, certificates and pinning ceremonies recognizing military service; and
• Hosted Veteran appreciation dinners to recognize military service and provide information about healthcare services in their community.

Hospice of the Bluegrass is a partner with the national We Honor Veterans campaign and is committed to giving high quality palliative care to all veterans.  Here are a few ways you can help:

• If you know a veteran with chronic illness, contact your local community palliative and hospice care provider.
• If you participate in a veteran, civic or religious organization that could benefit from learning more about palliative and hospice care or the needs of veterans at end-of-life, contact Hospice of the Bluegrass for a speaker.
• Volunteer with Hospice of the Bluegrass to provide support to patients and families.

The two videos below highlight some of the needs of veterans at end-of-life and the ways in which palliative and hospice care can help. Please take a moment to watch these and leave your questions or comments below.

Reaching Out to Those Who Served

Jim Cooper’s Legacy: A Veteran’s Story

Turner West, MTS
Director of Volunteer Services

I hope one of your early calls will be to Hospice of the Bluegrass because you know you will receive excellent medical care and support for the entire family. You also know that your family member will be treated with respect and dignity by dedicated, compassionate health professionals in the comfort of your own home.

The contributions we receive have helped make Hospice of the Bluegrass a national leader in end-of-life care. We are grateful to our friends for supporting our patients and committed team of care givers. Thanks to our donors, Hospice continues to touch the lives of thousands and seeks to improve their quality of life.

Hospice of the Bluegrass is your community hospice. We exist to serve you and your loved ones – to provide comfort and hope. In this uncertain economic time, Hospice of the Bluegrass counts on your support – now more than ever. Your year-end gift is extremely important because it provides resources that make an immediate impact and helps through these interesting – and tough – days.

You may have already received a letter or email asking for a year end gift or maybe this is the first time you are seeing the message.  Regardless, I hope you will join me in supporting Hospice this year.  Your gift can make all the difference to dying patients and their families.

Hospice of the Bluegrass is committed to quality end-of-life care for you, your loved ones, and for every person in the community.  Your donation will make a difference. I promise you.  Please click here to go to the Hospice of the Bluegrass website to make a secure donation.

Thank you so much for your help.  Please accept my appreciation for all your support. On behalf of Hospice of the Bluegrass staff and volunteers, I wish you the most peaceful of holiday seasons!

Best Regards,

Susan M. Ware, CFRM
Vice President of Development
Hospice of the Bluegrass

Sherri Weisenfluh, LCSW, ACHP-SW Associate Chief Clinical Officer, Counseling

Bonnie Meyer, DMin, BCC Director of Bereavement and Spiritual Care

Holidays, for many people, are times to be with loved ones and share family traditions.  Because we have such a strong association between holidays and being with loved ones, holidays can be painful instead of joyous when a loved one dies.  After the death, we miss them every day, but may miss them the most on special days that are packed with memories—the holidays which mean the most to us.

For those who are grieving, the approaching holidays are often anticipated with dread rather than with joyful anticipation.  Some dread going through the motions of the usual holiday activities without that person’s presence.  The reality of their absence will be so unbearable that we are unsure whether we will even want to do anything associated with the holidays.

Yet we wonder, what do my living loved ones need at this time?  And, what do I need at this time?  What shall I do, and what shall I not do, this year?

If you or someone you know will be going through the holidays this year while grieving the loss of a loved one, here are some suggestions.

• Talk with your family and friends about their ideas and plans; consider doing something special together:
• Consider the “little things” that can make a difference
  “The little things are infinitely the most important” – Arthur Doyle
  “Taking that first step, however small it may seem is a big step.  It frees you from feeling immobilized.” – Ronna Jevne & James Miller, in Finding Hope: Ways to See Life in a Brighter Light (1999).
• Make “Healing Memory Ornaments” together:  decorate a plain ornament with colors or drawings that have meaning for you; write a message to your loved one and stuff it inside the ornament; hang or display the ornament according to your family’s traditions
• Buy a present for the loved one, and donate it to a needy person
• Light a candle, or say a prayer, or play a song, or plant a tree
• Include a poem or scripture or picture, in memory of your loved one, in your holiday cards that you send
• Did the one who died always perform a particular role during the holidays (such as cutting the meat, or leading the Seder, or distributing the gifts, etc.)?  Talk about what would feel best this year:  leave the role undone?  Have someone else perform the role?  Change the role in some way?  Can that mantle be passed on to someone else in a meaningful and healing way?
• Hang a stocking or set out a bowl for the person, and ask family and friends to fill it with notes about special memories
• Give yourself and others permission to cry…and also to laugh.

• Talk with a grief counselor about your particular situation and make some decisions about what will help you through the holidays
• Attend a holiday support group and talk with others about their ideas and plans
• Attend a holiday memorial service, or visit the grave (ask someone to go with you, if that will help)
  Hospice of the Bluegrass offers holiday-related memorial services, counseling, groups, and healing activities at each of our sites.  A schedule of these events is available on the Support Groups section of our Web site

• One place your family and friends can get suggestions about how to help you during the holidays is on-line at Caring Connections

If you are facing the holiday this year during a time of grief and loss, we hope that you are able to find the support you need.  We hope that you are able to find meaning, in some small thing, that brings you comfort.  If you would like to talk to a counselor, please call the Hospice of the Bluegrass office located in your area.

Gretchen Brown, President/CEO, Hospice of the Bluegrass

November is National Hospice and Palliative Care Month and Hospice of the Bluegrass wants to make sure that everyone in the 32 central, southeastern and northern Kentucky counties we serve understands what resources are available for the dying, their families and the grieving.

Coping with a serious or life-limiting illness is not easy. In fact, it might be the hardest work you’ll ever do. Working with doctors and hospitals, navigating the maze of care needs, figuring out insurance coverage, all in addition to taking care of your family can be overwhelming. Hospice of the Bluegrass wants you to know that there is help.

Hospice and palliative care provides expert pain management, symptom control, psycho-social support and spiritual care to patients and families when a cure is not possible. All the necessary medicines and equipment needed to keep a patient comfortable can be brought right to the home, which is where most Americans would like to be if at all possible.  Hospice makes this happen.

More than 1.5 million people with a life-limiting illness get help from the nation’s hospice and palliative care providers every single year.

“There’s an inaccurate perception among the American public that hospice means you’ve given up,” said J. Donald Schumacher, president and CEO of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization. “Those of us who have worked in the field have seen firsthand how hospice and palliative care can improve the quality of life. And there’s a growing body of research showing that hospice and palliative care may prolong the lives of some people who receive care.”

Families often share thoughts with us about their hospice experience.  We hear comments like “What a difference hospice made in the last days of her life”, “We wish we had called hospice sooner” or “We could not have done this without hospice.”  Do you have a special hospice story you would like to share?  Leave a comment ~ we would love to hear!

Gretchen M. Brown
President/CEO