Below are suggestions for helping a friend who is grieving. Our library also has many resources that you may find helpful.
- Call often especially after the first couple of months. Those who are grieving may not have the energy to call, even though they may need to talk.
- Offer a specific date to do something with you.
- Talk about the one who died. Don’t avoid his/her name. Sharing memories can help your friend deal with the reality of loss.
- Realize that while your friend may seem to be “doing so well”, they may also be trying to put on a brave front for you.
- Express your caring. If you feel like crying when talking to your friend, it’s okay.
- Say nothing rather than offering clichés. A hug or a squeeze of your hand means more than a hundred ill-chosen words.
- Bring food or invite your friend to dinner. As one woman said, “I have to eat, but it’s so hard to cook.”
- Go for a walk with your friend.
Most of us feel awkward around pain or suffering. That, too, is normal. Know that as you share moments of pain with your relatives and friends, you will eventually share moments of joy.
Adapted from Survival Handbook for Widows by Ruth Loewinsohn, 1982
