Coping with the Holidays

The winter holidays are generally perceived as “the most wonderful time of the year.” But for those who are facing grief after the death of a loved one, the holidays may instead be a time filled with pain and sadness.

Even those for whom grief is not as fresh, the holidays may serve as an annual reminder of the loss—not only of that person, but of tradition and celebration.

Bereavement professionals working in hospice and palliative care understand how difficult this season can be. They support families coping with loss all year long. Bereavement counselors stress the importance of making decisions that feel right to the grieving person, and giving oneself permission to make new or different choices at the holidays.

Grief experts remind us that:

• Holidays often center on certain traditions and rituals. For some, continuing these traditions without a loved one may be an important way to continue sharing their memory. For others, it may be more comforting to develop new rituals to help lessen the pain and immediacy of the loss.
• While the holidays can be filled with meaning, they can also be filled with pressure and stress because of additional tasks such as shopping, baking and decorating. Grieving people should be encouraged to prioritize what needs to be done, and focus on those projects that may bring them pleasure. Perhaps the gift list can be pared down, cards need not be sent out, or another family member can cook the family dinner this year.
• The holidays can bring opportunities to remember the person who has died in a way that is personally meaningful. Some families choose to participate in holiday events at a local hospice. Others may choose to share special family stories over a meal. Some may find that making a donation to a special charity or volunteering time to help others in need may be a comforting way to honor their loved one.

Hospice and palliative care professionals know of the importance of providing emotional and spiritual support to those who are grieving but most importantly, they remind us that a person grieving should do what’s most comfortable for him or her during this time of year.

To learn more about grief and loss or about hospice and palliative care, contact your local Hospice of the Bluegrass Office, or visit www.caringinfo.org.

Several Holiday Hope and Memorial Tree events are planned this year, a complete listing can be found at right.

This information is provided by the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization and Hospice of the Bluegrass.

 

Cynthiana

October 25- November 22: Holiday Support Group: Tuesdays, 3-4:30p.m., Scott County Library, Contact: Martha Clay, LCSW

December 2: Topiary Tree Workshop: Friday, 2-3:30 p.m., Small topiary trees will be made and decorated with swags of lettered beads spelling the name of the deceased. Contact: Mary McKenzie, ACSW, CSW

December 9: Holiday Fragrance Workshop: Friday, 2-3:30 p.m., Fragrant lemons will be decorated with the initials of the deceased loved one to be used throughout the season. Contact: Mary McKenzie, ACSW, CSW

Mountain Heritage: Corbin

November 7-28: Coping with Grief during the Holidays: Mondays, 6-7:30 p.m., A four-week group for adults, to focus on coping with loss during the holidays. Contact Monica Mefford, CSW

December 13: Holiday Hope: Thursday, 6 p.m., New Hope Church of God Youth Building, 8254 Ky Hwy. 1232, Corbin, Ky 40701. Annual gathering to remember loved ones and access additional support through the holidays. Contact: Monica Mefford, CSW

Frankfort

November 17 & December 1: Holiday Grief Group: Thursdays, Day session 3-4:30 p.m., Evening session 6-7:30 p.m., a four-week support group for grieving adults facing the holiday season. Contact; Peggy Williams, MSW, CSW or Melinda Simpson, LCSW

November 10: Holiday Hope & Ornament Activity: Thursday, 6 p.m., A one time grief education program and the option of creating an ornament honoring a loved one. Contact: Melinda Simpson, LCSW

Lexington

November 15: Holiday Hope: Tuesday, 7p.m., Open to the public, Celebration Center of Lexington, 1509 Trent Boulevard, Lexington, KY 40515. Contact: Martin Weinstock for more information.

 

Jessamine County

November 2 & December 7: Coping with the Holidays: Following the Death of a Loved One: For all ages. Wednesdays, 1-2:30p.m., Registration is required. Contact: Tiffany Estepp-Hurst

November 16 & December 14: Coping with the Holidays: Following the Death of a Loved One: For all ages. Wednesdays, 6-7 p.m., Registration is required. Contact: Tiffany Estepp-Hurst

 

Mountain Community: Hazard

November 15: Holiday Hope: Tuesday, 6-8 p.m., Mountain Community Office, 57 Dennis Sandlin MD Cove, Hazard, KY 41701. Everyone is welcome to attend. For more information please contact the office at 606-439-2111 or email Susan Houston

November 30: Memorial Tree Service: Wednesday, 2:30-4:30 p.m. Breathitt County Library, Contact Susan Houston

December 6: Memorial Tree Service: Tuesday, 3-5p.m., Knott County Library, Susan Houston

December 7: Memorial Tree Service: Wednesday, 2:30-4:30 p.m., Leslie County Library, Contact Susan Houston

December 12: Memorial Tree Service: Monday, 3-5 p.m., Morgan County Library, Contact Susan Houston

December 13: Memorial Tree Service: Tuesday, 3-5 p.m., Letcher County Library, Contact Susan Houston

December 14: Memorial Tree Service: Wednesday, 2:30-4:30 p.m., Wolfe County Library, Contact Susan Houston

 

Mountain Heritage: Harlan

November 7: Dealing with Grief During the Holidays: Monday, 6 p.m., This group is being offered to adults who have experienced the loss of a loved one. RSVP by November 4, 2011. To register phone (606) 523-3090 or email Monica Mefford, CSW

December 6: Holiday Hope: Mountain Community Harlan: Tuesday, 6p.m., Harlan Christian Church (130 S. 1st St, Harlan) Contact Janet Nantz, MA or Mary Gutzwiller, Chaplain

December 8: Holiday Hope: Mountain Community Corbin: Thursday 6-8 p.m., Hospice families will be invited to our annual gathering to remember their loved ones and access additional support through the holidays. Contact Monica Mefford, CSW

December 8: Coping with the Holidays Workshop: Thursday 6-7:30 p.m., Bell County, Middlesboro Public Library, Contact: Janet Nantz, MA

 

Northern Kentucky

November14 and December 12: Creatively Speaking Family Workshop: Mondays, 6-8 p.m., for families who have experienced the loss of someone significant in their lives. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Contact: Marshae Amarante, LPAT,ATR-BC

December 6: Holiday Memorial Service: Tuesday, 7 p.m., Florence Christian Church, 300 Main St, Florence, KY 41042. Hospice families will be invited to our annual gathering to remember their loved ones and access additional support through the holidays. RSVP is required; contact Billy Bussell, MDiv

December 14: Holiday Memorial Service: Wednesday, 7 p.m., United Church of Christ, 15 Fort Thomas Ave, Fort Thomas, KY 41075. . Hospice families will be invited to our annual gathering to remember their loved ones and access additional support through the holidays. RSVP is required; contact Billy Bussell, MDiv

 

Mountain Rivers: Pikeville

November 1- December 6: Holiday Support Group: Tuesdays: 5:30 p.m., A six-week support groups is being offered to adults focusing on grief during the holidays. Contact: DeLora Holbrook, MSW at (606) 437-3700.

November 17: Holiday Memorial Service: Thursday, 6:30- 7:30 p.m., Immanuel Baptist Church 5459 North Mayo Trail, Pikeville, KY 41501. Contact: DeLora Holbrook, MSW

December 1: Memorial Tree Service: Floyd County. Contact: DeLora Holbrook, MSW

December 13: Memorial Tree Service: Pike County. Contact: DeLora Holbrook, MSW

December 18: Memorial Tree Service: Magoffin County. Contact: DeLora Holbrook, MSW